A series of blog posts tracking my slow but steady descent into the quicksand pit of story.<<< First | <<Previous | Next >>——————————————————————————————————————————————
It is a truth (that ought be) universally acknowledged that the fey cannot be trusted. Anyone that operates on rules they refuse to tell you grinds against my every instinct, and I heartily suggest that you too carry a pocketful or purseful of cold iron shavings wherever you go. You never want to be accosted by a stray pixie, sprite, or gods forbid, selkie unprepared.
Dominique opted to one step beyond. Several steps beyond. A 5K race beyond. We come to the sylph negotiating table in full iron plate. They seem to be our local fey, and certainly have the appropriate demeanour. The plan is to bribe them with painstakingly acquired drugs in order to talk to their elder and see about that whole Ramuh business. Instead, we are forced to dance due to Yda and Papalimo bungling the negotiations. They fail to do anything of importance for the duration of this play session, but I suppose that there are some days when you have to carry the party. Note that step dancing is not recognised by the sylph as a valid form of dance.
A small diversion takes me to overlook an imperial castrum. However, this diversion too is diverted. Odin?! Why is Odin a nerd on a horse? Why is his title "sodium bicarbonate" in what I think is Italian? Wait, elder primal?! Why is a primal just a guy? What is he doing in the middle of the forest? Why is he trying to kill us a time-limited event? Too many questions, too many questions! Run for it!
What follows after that is a series of events that doesn't amount to much. We find imperials doing.. something, with the story apparently ignoring the castrum a minute south of the hidden sylph village. One of the sylphs runs off, Dominique gives chase and fights tempered sylphs and a big smoke-billowing monster than inflicts silly amounts of debuffs on the unwary (read: Yda and Papalimo.) The sylphs trust us now, but wait, the elder is nowhere to be found. And then, roundabouts ten quests where we don't find the elder but do traipse across half the continent just to deliver moonshine to a barkeep.
A blind barkeep at that too? Brother, Dominique
is the duskwight. Well, at least it's done. It is the gaming equivalent of one of those Naruto episodes that everyone tells you to skip, but never mind all that, we hit level 30.
The time to slay the grand Kujata is finally upon us, foreshadowed for so long! Our heavy iron armour is now too constraining, so we upgrade to a lighter set of artisanal, self-made steel. We visit the forsaken child cursed to attract 30-50 feral animals every time he ventures into the wilds, then set off for our quarry with our marauding compatriots. Finally, the beast is upon us. Dominique charges in and—
That was it? Really? I expected more.
I deserve a challenge.The sparkle in the tyke's eye does soften the sting a bit. What helps more is an immediate followup quest. We are to go to Costa del Sol, which looks and sound exactly how you'd expect from the name.
Well, OK, beyond the tiki bar aesthetic and chill music, once more do large crystalline structures beckon in the distance. Before I get distracted, though, I stumble upon my job, and I mean that in multiple senses of the word. A brisk battle against tormented testudines brings Dominique and the marauder healer to Curious Gorge, whose name I dare not mock for I wish to keep all my teeth. Not that I'd want to, because he gives us the vaunted job crystal. No longer a marauder, no mere fighter, Dominique is now a Warrior! Allegedly. I see no differences in skills.
In conclusion, lots of things happened. Nothing happened.
OPEN QUESTIONSOne day, these questions shall be answered, but this is not that day.
WHO IS THE ROBED GUY WITH THE RED MASK? WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THOSE SMALL CRYSTALS? WHY WERE THE WARRIORS OF LIGHT FORGOTTEN? WHO IS TO BLAME FOR THE ECHO?WHAT WAS THE GARLEANS' OBJECTIVE? CRACKPOT THEORIESI regret to say that I have no pots to crack this session.
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Dearest readers, thank you for reading, as always. Pray that Dominique gets some plot in our next entry. I will link no socials. My online names elsewhere are far too silly.
