What is your answer to the existential question?
A direct observation rarely yields a satisfying response. Internal thoughts tend to be a relatively simple melody against the more complete song of who one really is, and a part of me feels sad that these complicated pieces go unheard.
Of course as an enthusiastic observer of this phenomenon I have my own affinities to the art and so I will never be able to hear the real song nor completely understand its existence as a reflection of the world itself. At best I’ll hear something at near face value and like it while wondering if it was their song I heard or if I accidentally forgot to mute myself. Honestly it’s hard to tell, I'm quite noisy if not nosy, so an even more indirect approach may be warranted..
In crystalline conflict I don’t have the bandwidth to understand everything and the noise of the match simply falls on deaf ears, but I notice after a few matches patterns emerge, and those patterns map with emotions. And while I might not understand directly what is happening, there seems to be an invisible song missing from the overt song presented. That sort of urge to play a part. I suppose this is what anyone does without thinking, I’m just a bit slow on the uptake on the social implications. Except I'm not talking about winning or losing, action and reaction, push and pull. These are part of the overt song that overlook something much more interesting, and it seems the value extraction from a win and loss approaches equivalency.
I want to sleep so my point—Conversations and crystalline conflict are literally the same lesson on the meaning of life.
