Annabel Ashcroft

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Crafting 101: You THINK she would have learned


Here dear wife, as a reward for always helping me, I hope you like it. ;p

"Um, is it supposed to look like that?"

Aria groaned for what seemed like the hundredth time. It HAD been a good idea at the time, teaching her wife Annabel to craft her own stuff so she would not come begging to Aria every time she wanted something. It would also have left herself with far more time for her own projects, not having to take yet ANOTHER request from her 'beloved' wife. But as Aria is finding out, good ideas and good intentions can come at a great cost to ones own sanity.

Aria: (points to the shirt Aria made) "Anna, look at mine then look at yours, what do you think?"
Anna: " Well, not EXACTLY I guess, I mean the sleeves ARE a little short, but it's still ok."
Aria: "OK? Anna, MAYBE if you were a Lalafell. Do I LOOK like a lalafell? HOW would I WEAR this? Hell, how would YOU wear this?"
Anna: "With style dear like I ALWAYS do and of course you don't look like a Lala. I mean they don't have tails, or scales, or horns, or...."
Aria: (Fumes) "Anna, DON'T change the subject! Ugh, WHY did I decide to do this WHY? (Takes a deep breath to calm down) "Ok dear, take your tools and try it again, and THIS time remember the rotation."
Anna: "Oh, you mean the ten steps you gave me to remember?"
Aria: "Fifteen Anna, did you forget part of them already?"
Anna: "FIFTEEN? Wife, WHY so many? I never see YOU do so many."
Aria: "It's because I'm a master crafter dear, I have experience. Wait a minute, (looks confused), WHEN did you ever watch me craft? Anything involving ACTUAL concentration and you tend to stare off into space."
Anna: " I do NOT......well ok, sometimes.....but ONLY if I am bored!"
Aria: "Which is all the time from what I've seen."
Anna: "WIFE!"
Aria: (taps the table) "Ok, no stalling, do the fifteen steps and I want a shirt I can actually wear."
Anna: "Fine," (grumbles under her breath) "Lousy wife, making me make my own things."

Annabel goes to work and another shirt is made.

Anna: "Ok, there, sixteen steps, I hope you like it." (throws it to Aria)
Aria: (catches it and is engulfed) "Anna, what the hell is THIS? It's like I'm wearing a tent!"
Anna: "Well, you'll just grow into it."
Aria: "Grow into it? Anna, I am a Au-ra, this is as big as we GET!" Wait, did you say Sixteen steps?" No WONDER it's big! Woman, can't you count?"
Anna: "Wife, you have been married to me for over three years now, you don't know the answer to that?"
Aria: "Honestly I don't know anything anymore with all the headaches you keep giving me. Where are my pills? Alea sent me over a new shipment a few days ago." (Takes bottle, pops pill in mouth.) "Ugh, the way we're going, these won't last a week."
Anna: (looks disbelieving) "What, she sent you MORE? I don't know WHERE she is getting the money for all these; I need to talk with Adora about this."
Aria: "I'm sure Adora encourages her to help me. They're your sisters, they know my suffering."
Anna: "Ha ha, what about MY suffering having to DO this?"
Aria: "Look, do you want clothes or not? Ok, lets try something else." (Brings out the BIG book of crafting.)
Anna: "Wow, that is a BIG book."
Aria, "thus the name dear."
Anna: "You're not going to hit me with it are you?"
Aria: "That has yet to be determined.....ah, here we go, craft this. It's only five steps Anna, FIVE; even you can't mess THIS one up."
Anna: "Is that a challenge?"
Aria: (Gives her a LOOK) "Just DO it."

Annabel once more takes cloth and needle and gets to work. Soon a new....something is made.

Anna: "Weelll, here it is.....I think."
Aria: (Takes it and looks) "Anna, WHAT is this?"
Anna: "I don't know, you never told me the name of it, you just said and I quote, "Anna, make this," so I made it."
Aria: "And HOW many steps did you use?"
Anna: "Um"......(counts on her fingers)...."Four!"
Aria: "FOUR? FOUR" Anna, how hard was it to forget FIVE steps?"
Anna: "Well, they DO both start with F, it's easy to get them mixed up. Four, Five, BOTH start with F, and BOTH are four letters. See, EASY to confuse them!"
Aria: (Just looks absolutely dumbfounded at the woman she ACTUALLY married) ", you're not, are you?" (shakes head in disbelief) "Wow, I think I need to rethink teaching you anything that ACTUALLY uses math."
Anna: "Well math IS hard."
Aria: "As is teaching my wife it seems."
Anna: "Hmmmph"

Taking the book and some paper, Aria starts writing something while Annabel looks on, curious. Soon Aria is done and presents the paper to Anna.

Aria: "Ok, new tactic. I have written ALL the steps here in a nice CLEAR diagram for you to follow dear. Just follow them and even YOU should have NO trouble doing this."
Anna: "Is that a challenge?"
Aria: "ANNA!"
Anna: "Fine, fine," (takes paper, looks at it) "Um....where's the pictures?"
Aria: "What?"
Anna: "You know dear, pictures, that show how to do it, it's a LOT easier than words."
Aria: (Gives her wife a look that could kill) "ANNA, I don't have time to draw out EVERY little step for you!"
Anna: (sighs) "Ok, but I take NO responsibility in what this might turn out to look like."
Aria: (says the eternal marriage mantra under her breath) "better or for worse Aria, better or for worse, does it ever GET better?......" (deep breath) "Ok, just TRY it Anna."
Anna: (Sighs and looks at paper again), "Fine"

Once more Annabel goes to work making something. She squints at the list while crafting, sparking memories in Aria's mind of the LAST time she tried to help her wife learn something.I swear, if she says she's making the writing dance around again..... Her thoughts are interrupted by Annabel who proudly displays something in her hands.

Anna: "Yay, I made something!"
Aria: (looks dubiously) "THAT is yet to be determined, let me see it dear." (Anna hands it over, Aria examines it) "It's about damn time it's right. See dear, even YOU can make something if you put your mind to it."
Anna: "Well it wasn't too many steps, it was.....; I just read till there was no more to read, no counting involved!"
Aria: (looks shocked) "Really? THAT'S how you did it?"
Anna: (Nods, thinks for a moment, brightens) "Hey! If you do that for EVERY recipe in there, I WILL be able to craft all my stuff!" (claps hands together) Just think, lots and lots of NEW things to wear all with my name on them!"
Aria: (Looks at Annabel completely speechless for a moment)
Anna: "Um....wife?"
Aria: "Um......after MUCH consideration...I think it MIGHT be better if I just continue to keep crafting all your outfits for you.....for my own sanity's sake."
Anna: (Brightens) "SEE! THAT's why I ask to you make me stuff instead of trying to do it myself, I CARE about my wife!"
Aria: (Sighs and shakes head) "I......I think I have just been outmaneuvered by a ditzy blonde who can't do math......"
Anna: (beams brightly) "And THIS is why we DON'T try to teach the Blonde anything!"
Aria: (sighs again) "One day I"ll learn, ONE day......"
Anna: "(Consoles wife) "That's ok dear, it took my sisters FOREVER to learn this. It's only taken you what...(counts on fingers), three years? See, you're learning fast!"
Aria: (groans) "Not fast enough it seems....."

Comments (1)

Aala Konane

Midgardsormr (Aether)

Blood, sweat and tears. Make your waifu proud!
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