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Enesha Melwalx

Zodiark [Light]

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Meteion was right

Public
Sighs are more and more frequent.
Silences, prolonged.
Apathy rooting deeper and deeper.
Lingering torments of the uncertain morrow.
Asking more and more questions, only to get no answers.
In the end, did anything ever matter?
Achievements become void and null.
Knowledge, a burden to silently carry.
There’s nothing left to fight for.
Why am I even still going on instead of dropping everything?
I take no pleasure in the daily life.
Nothing to smile for.
Nothing that gives me the strength to wake up at morning.
No one to talk with.
Because no one would understand.
And surely, no one cares.
I’m just an inconsequential life matter in the universe, afterall, like everyone else.


… As evinced from preface, I’m not feeling half good.
I would probably have spent the whole evening in my bed thinking about nonsenses and the void meaning of my current life, was it not for my only big distraction which is FF XIV.

… Work is still my biggest source of tiredness and stress, every day only getting worse and worse as usual as it did since years to this day.
People around me just get further and further from me, mostly because I’m the first to push them away because I don’t have the will to interact with them. And every forced one strikes my nerves, especially if it’s a bad (albeit innocent or unwanted) one.
But in the end, I can nothing.
There’s nothing I can change, unless I take a drastic turn in my life.

… Anyroad… Leaving real life matters aside… I just have to state the fact I brought PLD to 90 as well. DRK and RPR are the next to level and so I brought back to Enesha that timeline’s appearance. … Weirdly enough, it completely matches my current state of mind in real life as well. What a coincidence.
I started tanks’ role quest as well, reaching LV87’s. I’ll finish it with DRK. Also, now that I have RDM LV90 I should end caster DPS’ too (I left the LV90 out).

… I have no hopes for the morrow. No point in trying to hide behind fake smiles and made-up sentences. I’ll just keep drifting passively as usual. Live another day just because I must move on.
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