Dear Sisters:
Why are people always fascinated with old things? Old things are just well....old. They MIGHT have been good in the past but in the present they usually tend to be warn out, falling apart, and generally useless. But still, for SOME reason people lament about the 'old days' and wish they could go back to them for some reason. And I say, go back there then and STOP bugging ME about it!!!
MDP: (pops out, reads, snorts) "Girl, that better not be ME you are writing about."
Anna: (Groans) "Ugh, I should have KNOWN that any mention of old things would bring you out of whatever other-world dragon dump you hide yourself in."
MDP: "REALLY! Are we going there again? And I will have you know that there are many 'old' things that are good and useful still. If anything, the 'new' ones are far inferior."
Anna: "Oh PLEASE, if you and that old hag Minnie are any indication of "useful' old things, you have already lost this argument Dragon."
MDP: (Looks around) "Now you've done it Girl; you know she's going to come out now."
Minnie: (pops in) "What? My ears were burning; Annabel's writing about me again isn't she?"
Anna: (Moans and says something VERY unladylike.)
Ugh, sisters, ALWAYS think before writing. One would think I KNEW that by now, but noooooooo!
(Um, ignore that, now where was I.....oh yeah, old crap!)
As you remember in my last soggy and stinky letter, I was currently under the sea being tortured in more ways than one by my situation and had to find where I was supposed to go here. I had the general direction but that was NOT much help thanks to your typical underwater annoyances; you know, sea creatures trying to eat you, confusing undersea caves, and worst of all, the water messing up your hair!!!!!
After, oh I don't know, we'll say days, I FINALLY found the place I was supposed to find; it turned out to be quite the disappointment......
MDP: (Looks shocked) "Disappointment? . Girl, you call a whole recreated city under the sea a 'disappointment'? What, pray tell, would make it NOT a disappointment?"
Anna: (Thinks for a moment) "Oh, I don't know, maybe something that was well, USEFUL.
MDP: "And a city is not useful?"
Anna: "NOT when it's under the water! I mean seriously Dragon, did it HAVE to be there?"
MDP: (Sputters) "Girl, THAT'S where it WAS to begin with!"
Anna: "Haven't you ever heard of urban relocation?"
MDP: "Ugh, WHY do I EVEN bother? Minfilia, YOU take over......"
Minnie: "Gee, thanks......."
Yeah so there it was, a HUGE old, well, NOT so ruined city under the sea in this bubble so no water was there. One would think it was an amazing sight and I guess it kind of sorta was. But sisters, it had the WORST qualities attached to it. A. it was old and you KNOW how much I hate old stuff. (looking at YOU Minnie!)
Minnie: "ANNABEL, I saw THAT!"
And B. It was BIG, so you just KNOW I was going to get hopelessly lost in it trying to find anything!
MDP: "And boy did you ever."
Anna: " Hey! I thought you were gone Dragon."
MDP: "No,I just wanted Minfilia to deal with you for a while while I recovered."
Anna: "Great, NOW they're tag-teaming me!"
Well, I had come this far, so I really had no excuse to NOT go in there.
(Ok, so I did have PLENTY of excuses NOT to go, but considering my condition and all, thought better of using them.)
It did not take long to reach the place and I have to admit I was glad to be out of the water and on dry bubble land. Once I was closer to the city and actually in it, I saw that those buildings were REALLY tall. I also saw that there were no signs anywhere of what anything actually WAS!
Well, this was just GREAT sisters, finally reached this place and I had NO idea what to do! Fortunately there were these weird tall beings roaming and standing around various parts of the city. I went up to one, asking him in my ever sweet and lovely voice, "what the hell was going on here?" He replied that I should not even BE here and acted like I was someone's servant who was lost. Well the thing got two out of three right, but I am NO ONE servant, and I told it in MANY words!
Minnie: "Um Annabel, you served me all the time doing the quests I assigned to you."
Anna: "Wow Minnie, way to dredge up bad memories! And I did NOT serve you, I was helping you save Eorzea.
Minnie: "Is THAT what you called it? I totally saw it as 'serving' me."
Anna: ",,,,,,,, Wow, you REALLY want me to go all out full bitch mode on you, don't you?"
Minnie: "No I don't, but I know you'll look for ANY excuse to do it anyway."
MDP: "That IS true Girl."
Anna: "Are you STILL around? Maybe I need to go full bitch mode on you too."
MDP: "Girl, I have been around for thousands of years, I can take whatever you can throw at me."
Anna: "Oh, it is ON Dragon!"
Minnie: "Oh GODS! Mother, PLEASE find something for her to do so she doesn't start!"
To get rid of me, this overly tall creature told me I had to go register my presence at one of the many, MANY bureaucratic buildings about the city. Now sisters, you know me, you can imagine how clueless I was about how all this bureaucracy worked. Turns out it was a whole lot of...
A. Go here and say, "Here I am and I want 'this'!
B. Go and sit around waiting for 'this' to happen.
C. Pray that they got 'this' right so you don't have to go back and do it ALL over again!
And D. (optional) Bitch at them for getting 'this' wrong if it is wrong! (yes I DID do this a lot, are you REALLY surprised at that? )
So, building after building, I did those four things, (mostly number 4), and finally got somewhere in this weird place. It was while I was sitting around waiting for um....something or another, when I met this odd being.
Now sisters, let me back up and say that most of the city dwellers there in that city were more illusion-like, ie: they were just going though some kind of old routine and barely reacted when one spoke to them. (It actually made it REALLY annoying that they barely reacted to my bitchy tirades!) But this phantom representation was well......different. It actually could carry on full conversations and did so with me, telling about the history of the city and of their ancient race. I won't go all into it here, it was looooong; but I SWEAR Alea, I did NOT fall asleep though it this time, REALLY!!!!!
Minnie: (looks unconvinced) "Annabel, I don't know if I believe you. When is the last time you actually stayed awake for someone's explanations?"
Anna: (Looks miffed) "Oh come on Minnie, I DO listen sometimes! It's just that most of the time they are soooo boring and I have a weakness for boring stuff."
MDP: "So all the Asicans have to do to defeat you is come over and constantly talk about boring stuff?"
Minnie: "Midgardsomr, DON'T give them ideas! Do you WANT them to win?"
MDP: "Sorry, but to anyone who's met her, it's pretty obvious, one has to wonder why they don't"
Minnie: "Thank the Twelve they don't!"
Anna: "Yeah, I get enough of it from the people who are supposed to be HELPING me!"
Minnie: "........"
So, armed with new knowledge on what the hell was going on here, I finally was able to get somewhere in the bureaucracy maze and received an appointment for a meeting with Emet himself in the capital building.
This 'meeting' though turned out to be a recreation of the end of the world as the Ascians knew it. UGH, it was soooooo annoying going though that. There were creatures EVERYWHERE eating people, getting in the way and just being annoying pests! Add the smoke, the fires, the explosions, the screaming people, AND the the big four mouthed deamon who tried to fry me and knock me into the abyss; and let me tell you sisters, it was NOT a fun place to be!........
Continued: part 2.
