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Sigurd De-mizar

Phoenix [Light]

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Stories from A12s prog. The Afterword.

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So the A12S progression series has come to an end. This is the second long series I have written, with the first one being “The Diary of the Dead Lalafell Gardener”.

Back then when I wrote “The Diary of the Dead Lalafell Gardener”, the biggest struggle I had was trying to remember who said what and who did what. I had decent memory of a lot of things, but there are certain details I struggled to recall. For example, I remember when I first cleared A7s, Bob was subbing for us. Then he left and it was Wizz who came with us when I entered A8s the very first time. But was Wizz with us in the A7s clear too? Was that Cryo or Aqua who was subbing for us that raid? That kind of details, I have to check FFlogs. Fortunately, I also had access to Heliodor Ikea’s discord channel and can go back and check some of the conversations. I also have weekly blog that sort of mentioned about a few things here and there. It came in handy for finding out things like who was late for the raid and what did people said about the healers pair we were trialing with.

Despite the fact that my writing is not any kind of journalistic or social documentary type of work, accuracy still matters to me. After all, this is my in game journal. I don’t like reading my own writing and feel something is off. Back then I thought that if I have to write another story, I won’t wait that long. I don’t want to be constantly researching on my old note, fflog and discord just to make sure I get the names and places correct. Obviously, it was not easy. How can I know something worth writing before the event comes to an end?





Heliodor Ikea disbanded before I started writing “The Diary of the Dead Lalafell Gardener”. Before I typed the first letter, I knew where the story was going, and how it would end. In contrast, in the “Stories of A12s Prog” series, I started the stories as the events were unfolding. When I started writing about it, I had no idea where it was going, and how it will end.

When I started “Stories from the A12s prog”, originally it was intended to be a very short story. I was expecting it to end by part 2. After the Improvisers was disbanded, I re-roll as PLD. I planned to write about how I adapted to PLD and clear content on it. After I cleared A11s as PLD, it was quite clear that there is no serious static will take a PLD for A12s. So I ended up in writing about playing DRK instead.

The story changed pace completely by the second post. The blog was posted on the 12th Feb 2017. I still have record that a few days before that, I was told that I will be filling in either the tank spot or the BRD/MCH spot. If I remember correctly, the day before I post the blog, I was confirmed for the BRD/MCH spot. For me, it was a big twist. In some senses, it wasn’t entirely a surprise. Despite my best geared class after SMN was PLD, just no one with the right mind will choose to take a PLD to A12s. Then it was a surprise, because the raid lead effectively wanted me to play my weakest dps class, while hoping a smooth sail. Then, she got someone else to fill the tank spot, who is, guess what, a PLD. The biggest surprise out of all? I knew I wasn’t a good BRD, but I didn’t expect I can’t kill the A12s dummy at i260. In fact, if anyone bothers to read my log at that time, prior to this announcement, I had one cleared in A9S and one clear in A11s as BRD. In A9s, I cleared the fight at 9-%tile. In A11s, I was dead in the last phase and mostly on the ground. I had not even done A10s as BRD before, and back then the target was going in A12s and killed it by end of February.

It reminded me once upon a time, Annie told me that I was a good BLM. “Are you sure?” was actually not the response I wanted to give her. My response should always be, “so, you want to see pigs to fly? Very well, let see how I will pull this off this time!”

I thought to myself, if I managed to kill A12s as a BRD, I need to tell this story to everybody I know. I took my gamble and started writing the story. The moment when I start blogging about my adventure with Nomad, I officially pressed the commit button. I was determined, the question was not about IF I will pull it off, it is HOW I will pull it off.

I spent the week and half after it practising with PUG group on PF. It was after the EU fanfest, and right before our first raid as a static, I killed A12s as a BRD. At that time, I thought I knew how this story would end. What can possibly go wrong?





One question I get is if I would have known the outcome of the event, will I still be writing about this story?

The answer is yes, with only one complication.

When I first wrote the “Lalafell Gardener” story, I had in mind that I want to share my epic adventure with my friends in the Faeries server. When I started the “A12s prog” story, I had no one in mind I want to share this. It was just the sheer excitement that propel me to write. If I didn’t start writing back then, say instead now after all the event happened, I have a choice of writing about it or not. The question is now become, who am I sharing this with? And why?

There is also a similar sentiment of, I have unintentionally come across the hidden side of several people. If I had a choice, would it be something I don’t want to know about in the first place?

I have to admit, I prefer the “A12s prog” story much better than the “Lalafell Gardener”. The main reason is, I have no control can’t foresee what happen in the “A12s prog”. I was writing about it as it happens, and the emotion was raw. Let’s say if I have wait until everything happens, will my opinion about certain people changes? If I know what they do at the end, can I still write about them the way I feel about them when we first met? If I know what will it trigger down the road, will I still write about an event because I think it is important when it happened?

One thing I regret about the “A12s prog” story, is the ending was so messy. Sadly, I am not writing a fanfic, or else I can be quite honest that this is exactly how not to write an ending. I supposed, it really has not ended yet. The event will continue impact what happen to my in-game life going forward, and I foresee that there will be reference back to that day.

I wish I have a mentor who can coach me on my writing, but it is a weird thought.

A lot of things happened after I left Nomad. Some are related and some are not. I think it is about time to move forward.

With this, I shall begin the next series of the stories.
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