The experience of that few days was like an avalanche to me. It was like one day when you wake up, you go outside looking at the clear and sunny sky. The next moment, you find yourself is surround by wall of snow piled right up to your nose.
It is not just the nature of the event that was shocking, but also the speed on how the event unfold was unprecedented. The event was so unexpected. It came with no hint or warning or what-so-ever. As I look back at it, the first question that came to mind was: just what happened?
Part of the problem was, I didn’t have all the details. Some of the events I experienced first-handed, some of the events were third party information. I was tempted to come to the conclusion that, so I wrote a blog and it caused someone to harass a few people, cost my static spot and FC membership. Well, if my words are so powerful, then why don’t I write a blog asking people for money? I mean, if I say: send me your life saving now, will you?
I am not saying that I have no role in causing these series of events, but I fear the truth is not that simple.
To try to get around this event in further details. We have to ask what do we know prior to the event. In short, this is what I know during that 1.5 week:
1. On a raid day on Friday, the said person sent us a message on discord right before the raid, saying that he was drinking.
2. The raid was delayed but not cancelled. I took the WAR spot in that raid and picked up a BRD in the FC
3. After the raid, the BRD was asked if she would like to raid with the static in the future. And I was asked if I can re-roll.
4. The raid lead was due to speak to the said person about his behaviour
5. A few days later, we were told that the said person was gone from the LS and discord
6. We were raiding in our new jobs for three raid days
7. I wrote the blog in question
8. I was told that the say person sent threat of violence and harassment to certain people in the FC, and I was removed from the static.
Some of the events are not as clear as they seem. Let’s take 4 and 5 for example. Did the raid lead screamed at the guy and kicked him immediately? If it is the case, why didn’t he raged on the spot but waited for a week? If they discussed and parted in a good team, there is also no reason to rage. Does it implies they parted in a bad term? Is it possible that the raid lead didn’t talk to him at all? However, if the conversation never happened, how did that guy left the LS and discord?
Then how about my blog? What information did it trigger the event? Obviously, I knew this sentence:
"Before we dropped off from discord, Cat asked the BRD if she would like to raid with us going forward. Then she asked me if I can give up the BRD/MCH slot and re-roll as WAR."
But apart from what the person said to me, was it the only thing he read? Is there other information did my blog reveal something? Like the fact that he deserted the team 5 minutes before the raid? The fact that it was me, not anyone else, who were considered for the WAR spot? Or the fact that if he ever played hard ball with the raid lead, he would for sure be a goner given all the potential replacement are already there? Then, if it is the static spot at stake, then how come it was not me who get threats but the other guy in my ex-FC? What had he done behind the screen that I don’t know about?
Then did other people read other things from my blog? Maybe they finally realize that it was indeed a hassle for me to change job every week? Especially all those jobs that form optimal comps were all alt classes that I have to gear and practise. Did they finally caught up with my thoughts because no one bothers to inquire before?
Last but not the least, what is the nature of the harassment? For example, what exactly was said that extract so much fear from people? GM was involved. But then, I doubt anyone was suspended from the game. So does it mean the nature of the harassment was not serious? Or the fact that it is acceptable behaviour in this game? Can we get some screenshot of what was said so we know what we can do or not?
There was a point that I thought about just forget about all of this and just move on. By the end of the day, the truth is unlikely to come out. I can list out the information I know and what I can speculate based on it, but at the end, what will it lead to? It is not like anything I know from this point on will change the past anyway.
But, it is hard to turn a blind eye on it.
I would have dropped this if my blog were not mentioned in the ordeal. It is as if seeing your child’s name appears in a high school shooting case; There is no way to ignore it. I have been blogging about what I encountered in game on close to a weekly basis ever since I started the game for close to one and a half years. To me, there is no surprise that I would write about I have to reroll yet to another job in this A12s journey full of twist. On Lodestone, some people like my writing, some people hate it, while most people don’t care or don’t read. I can easily claim that I had no control on who read my writing, at what mental state are they in when they read it and what they decide to do afterward. However, this is my writing, not anyone else’s. If I need to ask questions about this event, some of these questions will inevitably come back to me.
Also, the nature of the event involves potential violence in real life: what about the guy in my (now ex) FC who was told that if he was found in his town, he will get beat up?
Let’s ask the question differently. Let’s assume you ran a static, and you made a decision to boot somebody, maybe for a good reason or for a bad reason. Do you have to worry that the person come to your town and beat you up? What if you don’t run a static, like that guy in my ex-FC, you just happen to be in a static, and a guy got booted, do you have to worry that he come to your town and beat you up?
Who knows? Maybe the guy himself also said something somewhere to trigger this upon himself? However, this is just a game. All it is at stack is a static spot. Is it normal?
Even if some of you don’t care about someone jump on you on the street, because you are strong, have karate training, etc. How do you know the next guy don’t target the people around you? Do you have family? Will they be targeted? What about your children? Will they be getting sworn at and attacked in the street?
The more you look, the more disturbing the event is.
I thought about what if I was not a blogger. What if someone happened to mention something to the guy being kicked. Maybe someone wrote something in an LS. It doesn't have to be a blog. After all, it is not something a secret that someone was kicked and there was replacement. For example, what if the guy got told off by the raid lead, and end up in doing the same thing to the people in the FC.
If so, how would these events be unfold?
About two weeks after I left the FC, the remaining of the static cleared A12s.
Then, a few days later, patch 3.56 dropped along with echo on all Creator floor. I thought, the story would be come to an end here. After all, there is no more “progression” left for A12s.
A week after, I noticed a curious ad on PF.
It said something like, “ SCH and NIN/WAR look for a static.”
I recognized the name the poster, and I have a good guess on who was the other person was. Why would they be looking for a static? I don’t know.
Then another week passed, I noticed a few people on my friend list were FC-less, or moved to another FC.
I also recognized all those names.
What happened after I left, technically is none of my business. However, sometimes you just can’t stop wondering.
What happened? And, why?
